The Unworthy Saint

It seems like life moved so quickly the past month or two.  All kinds of drama… now I look around and I haven’t updated the blog in ages and I’m in sort of a lul – a calm before the next storm and I’m not sure what to do with myself.

I have to say, even with the drama I’m doing well.  I feel blessed to have the faith, friends and family I have.  Without those, I’m not sure what I’d do.  Sometimes I sit back and think “what would I do without my faith?” and I can never imagine exactly how bad things would be.  I think I’d be very depressed because there’s so much bad stuff that happens in the world.  My faith is what makes life have hope – because I know it all has a purpose and an end.

I never set out to be a happy person, but I feel like I’ve kinda fallen into that.  And that’s not to say that I’m always smiling or anything, but that my general mood inside myself is happy.  The things that would’ve rocked me in the past only cause me to sway a bit… I know where I’m going and what I’m doing.  I’m going to Heaven (because of God’s grace) and I’m living as best I can for God.  With those two things, much like Job or Paul, I think I can be pretty content in life.  It’s the sin inside me that makes me unconcent (is that a word?) with anything other than not being in Heaven… and slowly I’m getting better at battling that sin.

It occurs to me that great faith can only be evidenced by great tests of faith. Oh no!

Friends, you are all slaves to your passions, addictions and desires. You know this. It is evidenced by the food you eat too much of, the alcohol you drink a too much of, the rage that builds up when your favorite team loses. Your tell a lie and then wonder why you said that, you do something that hurts someone you love, but you didn’t mean to, you chase a dream that doesn’t get you what you wanted, but only gets you longer hours and more stress.

It doesn’t have to be like that. You can pursue something that you’ll never get full of, never drink in too much. You can loose your passions, addictions and desires on this one thing and it will not return void – this is Christ Jesus. If you give yourself over to Him, indulging yourself in His love and grace it will never be a waste.

Christ came to die for your sins – all those lies, those indulgences, those addictions, those times you hurt the ones you love, they’re all evidences of the impurity, the sin of your heart. God is just, and because He is just He punishes those who aren’t righteous. That punishment is Hell eternally. The truth of the matter is that all of us are unrighteous, sinful, lawless – we are all broken pots who can’t hold it together. We hurt people, we hurt ourselves, but Christ came to die on a cross 2000 years ago, He came as a human being, as the perfect sacrifice to die for our sins, take the wrath, the punishment God would pour out on us, and in doing so has saved us from our sins. All you have to do is believe that Christ has saved you from your sin and repent saying “God, I know that I am rebellious, lawless, I know I hurt the people I love and in that I have offended you. I confess my sin to you, that in my core I am not good, but evil, and say that I am helpless to do anything about it, but I know you have sent Christ, your own son, to die for my sins, to intercede in my place, to bear your wrath, and to save me from my unrighteousness. Save me Lord, I am ruined in your sight.”

God will take the faith He gave you and multiply it.  You will begin to see His goodness and love – but also his just wrath and your own sin.  You will worship God for the truth He is, the light He is.  You will find yourself glorifying God in everything you see – once He opens your eyes to the truth.  You will escape the rat race, the quest for things that are not Him.  You will lay yourself, your passions and your desires at His feet – and HE will, in turn, take those gifts He’s given you and use them for good rather than sin.  You will begin to be sanctified and He will be glorified in redeeming you – the broken pot who before couldn’t hold it together – and apart from Him will never hold it together.

Worship friends, we are evil, the world is broken, but God is good and we are saved through His son.  Rejoice!

This song just has me on my knees right now. I can’t help thinking that little kids need heroes (and ultimately a Hero) – I think true heroes are the ones who lay their cape and then themselves at the foot of the cross. We need to be the heroes that little kids can look up to… and I’m on my knees pleading to God that I would be worth to be called a hero someday.

—

Hero by Steve Taylor

When the house fell asleep there was always a light
and it fell from the page to the eyes of an American boy
in a storybook land I could dream what I read
when it went to my head I’d see
I wanna be a hero

But the practical side said the question was still
when you grow up what will you be?
I wanna be a hero

chorus:
Hero
it’s a nice-boy notion that the real world’s gonna destroy
you know
it’s a Marvel comicbook Saturday matinee fairytale, boy

Growing older you’ll find that illusions are brought
and the idol you thought you’d be was just another zero
I wanna be a hero

Heroes died when the squealers bought ‘em off
died when the dealers got ‘em off
welcome to the “in it for the money as an idol” show
when they ain’t as big as life
when they ditch their second wife
where’s the boy to go?
gotta be a hero

(chorus)

When the house fell asleep
from a book I was led to a light that I never knew
I wanna be your hero
and he spoke to my heart from the moment I prayed
here’s a pattern I made for you
I wanna be your hero

—

About The Song
>From Clone Club News Flash Spring/Summer 1984:

“['Hero'] is the most personal song on the album. I remember as a boy I’d pull a book out from under my bedcovers after my parents had turned out the lights and read by streetlight outside my window. My favorite books were biographies of presidents or generals or kings and queens, but as I’d grow older and read more in-depth accounts, I’d discover that my heroes weren’t all they were made out to be. Yet the more I read about Jesus, the more I realized that He was the one hero who wasn’t going to disappoint me, and that I could pattern my life after Him.”

>From the Now The Truth Can Be Told Song-By-Song Essays:

“And sometimes, by the grace of God, we get it right. My eyes went bad at an early age from all the books I read late at night using the streetlamp outside my bedroom window (this wouldn’t have happened if I’d watched more television…). Biographies were a favorite, but the accounts I’d read at age nine didn’t necessarily tell the whole unvarnished story. The more I’d read, the more my heroes (except for maybe Abraham Lincoln) tended to shrink in stature, eventually causing my adolescent psyche no small amount of post- Watergate disillusionment (‘Dad, what does ‘expletive deleted’ mean?’).

“Role models may vary in quality and consistency, but all are ultimately born to disappoint. Jesus is the only hero worth having.”