The Unworthy Saint

One of the ways I live my life – a guiding principle of sorts – is “intake more than you can consciously digest, keep a library, and hope your subconscious will absorb what you don’t consciously digest in the form of links or references to the library items.”

I don’t like J. Crew. As a concept, it’s good. I like their website. They have a nice logo, cool colors, cool models and cool, casual-looking clothes. But it’s all a facade. Their clothes generally have a rotten feeling to them, are horribly overpriced, wear quickly, and never quite look as cool as they market them to be. In addition, their store is one of the more uncomfortable places I’ve been in. I used to go in all the time – but that was when the guys stuff was up front. Since they’ve switched it so the girls merch is up front and the guy’s stuff is in the back. That’s a good way to not sell any guys clothing – Girls have no problem walking through the guy’s section, but guys should never be forced to walk through the girls section. It makes us uncomfortable – in fact, it makes me uncomfortable enough to never shop the store. Ever. The sales people have always been fine, I don’t have anything against them. I just don’t like the way the store is set up or the clothes. Which, some people do and that’s great, but this is my blog and my opinion… And I say J. Crew stinks. Although, I heard they had good underwear. But I’ll never know.

I find underwear to be a necessary evil. I say this because I am a boxer sort of a guy – generally laid back, loose, hang out, do whatever… I don’t mind dressing up sometimes, but I’d rather be in shorts and a t-shirt most of the time. However, there are times when underwear, in the traditional sense of the word, has it’s purposes. Say you want to play a sport, ride a bike, go for a run… this is a good time to wear underwear rather than boxers. Sometimes underwear is preferable because of the control it provides.

Well, I so despise underwear, talking about it (but obviously not enough to stop from blogging about it), looking for it, buying it, that I’ve never actually bought a pair. Until today. Today I bought some underwear. For the first time in my life. Before that my mom bought it for me. That’s right, the last pairs of underwear I have are at least 7 years old. I’m not too proud of that fact, but I’m sorta proud that I got by so long without buying any new pairs. Anyway, I went shopping today and bought some.

Shopping for underwear might be the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do. I might rank it more painful that cleaning rat poop out of a camper-trailer that went unoccupied in an open field for a few years. See, here’s the thing… no one makes good underwear. It’s almost impossible to find underwear that doesn’t have a little hole in the front – which might be the most useless invention ever… besides fully cotton underwear I mean. Fully cotton underwear is horrid. Put some spandex or lyrca in the mix, do something, just don’t leave it pure cotton. And white? What’s up with the obsession with white? And the alternative polkadotted, zebra striped, etc etc… This is a man’s underwear we’re talking about. Women folk can have whatever underwear, whatever print, whatever color – I’m ok with that. In fact, well…nevermind. Back to the point – the point is all man underwear should be black with minimal logos, some cotton blend, without a hole in the front. oh, and none of this thong stuff… you need something that comes down on the thigh at least a little bit. But you can’t really find what I’m talking about… at least not for a decent price. I’m not big on paying 20 bucks for 1 pair of underwear. Women can do that, that’s fine… they’re beautiful and deserve beautiful things to compliment them, but men… men need manly underwear that doesn’t cost $20. I think you should be able to buy a pack of 3 to 6 for $20. But currently if you buy a pack of underwear, most of the time it comes with a variety of colors… which is the worst setup ever because that means you have to buy 10 packs just to get 10 pairs that you like (they always pair black up with zebra stripped or something).

Blah blah blah. Anyway, I settled and bought some. We’ll see how they do. Hopefully what I bought will work.

And might I suggest, lets change man underwear to be “underwar” – it’s much more manly. Underwear for the ladies, underwar for the men. Perfect.