The Unworthy Saint

The deeper I go into the rabbit hole of Christianity, the more joy I find. I am a hedonist. We all are. As someone said, even the suicidal is a hedonist – they want to end their pain because there would be more joy in it. But that’s another subject I suppose… I was just talking about how I’m starting to see the good in, and derive joy from, even the smallest things of life. For instance, if I go out to eat with a friend, not only am I sharing fellowship with that person, but I’m also providing for other people’s families, enabling the cook and the waiter to make a living. It’s a form of doing good works that isn’t blatent, and it’s not even overtly Christian, but because of Christianity, because of my beliefs, I both recognize the good and find joy in it – it’s just another, somewhat indirect, way I serve God.

I entered a tshirt concept into a contest… check it out, vote for it if you like it, etc etc…

You might have to create an account to vote, I’m not sure.

I have a frightening tendency to pay attention to whatever activity I’m engaged in, even if the person who’s trying to get my attention means way more to be than the actual activity. For example, watching a music video while my mom is talking – and ignoring her rather than the (pausable) music video. Or ignoring my dad when I’m watching football. And it’s not that they had anything earth shattering to say, but I’m not sure that should matter. People should be way more important that inanimate objects.

Once upon a time there was a man named Joseph who was a Canaanite carpenter who had gone to Egypt to build pyramids. Well, because of Joseph’s hard work, Pharaoh decided to recognize him – Pharaoh told Joseph he could have his pick of any young virgin he wanted. Ironically Joseph chose a woman named Mary to marry – little did he know this young virgin was with child. When Joseph found out Mary was pregnant, he threw a fit and ask her if she had been sleeping around. He didn’t believe her and was about ready to leave her when an angel of God told him the insemination was divine and he should stick around. Ultimately Joseph did just that.

About that time Caesar Augustus issued a decree that the entire world should be registered – so Joseph and Mary decided to register in Bethlehem. Because of the strenuous journey from Egypt to Bethlehem, it was all Mary could to do get off the donkey at the end of their journey before Jesus was born. Since they were still in the stable when Mary gave birth, they decided to just spend a few nights there. Pretty soon a few wise men, some sheppards, and a bunch of Joseph’s brothers came to see them. The wise men came bearing gifts – one of the gifts they brought was a coat of many colors in XLT (for Jesus was supposed to be tall and strong).

Well, Joseph had a dream one night and dreamed that he was much better than his brothers. Joe tended to have a big mouth, and upon telling his dream to his brothers, they issued death threats. That night Joseph, Jesus and Mary, without saying goodbye to anyone, set off back toward Egypt. It was so cold (for it was early January by then) that Joseph decided he should wear Jesus’ coat rather than holding it back for him. That was Joseph’s first big mistake – sinning against Jesus. The wrath of God, mixed with a little bit of karma when Joseph was walking along, stepped on the edge of the coat (for it was too long for him), tripped and fell into a well. Fortunately Jesus came to save sinners and he saved Joseph from his sin – he lifted him up out of the pit, out of the miry clay.
And the rest is history.

–

This is a retelling of 2 stories merged (the Jospeh from Genisis and the Joseph who was Jesus’ earthly father), along with a little fiction. Hopefully you’ll find this amusing… and remember that Jesus really was born, then slaughtered brutally for our sins, dying so we wouldn’t have to. If you don’t love Jesus – you’re missing out.

I found myself, in exchanging gifts with my imediate family, not completely there, but with Frederick Buechner in Vermont. There was a burden, a weight on my heart for Buechner. It could be in part that I’m reading the latest of his memoirs that involes a lot about growing older, or perhaps it’s that 5 of his books swapped hands tonight – I do not know.

It occurs to me that it must be terribly rude to think on another’s death, especially when they’re a complete stranger and still alive. But when I really think about it, maybe he’s not such a stranger after all. Through his memoirs and other works of his hands and mind I’ve come to know a good bit about his thoughts, the things that have impressed him in this life, and something about his spiritual journey. In some ways I think to know someone’s spiritual journey is to know the deepest parts of them – it is our souls after all that are eternal in one form or another, not so many other things of the world. So maybe I know him better than I think. Maybe I know my pastor and other people better than I think.

Or maybe it’s just that one’s spritual journey is just one facet of knowledge – and while it’s surely what matters most, maybe we can know something of a person without knowing about their spirituality. I cried when Bill Watterson stopped writing Calvin and Hobbes – perhaps it was me weeping for the friend that left me – the fascet of him I had come to grow fond of through the characters in his comic strip. Maybe that’s the weight I feel in this moment – a saddness at the thought of my friendship with Frederick, through both his life’s work and his spiritual life depicted therein, coming to an end. I don’t look forward to that day.

The startling thump, thump, thump of the reflectors on the road wake the driver as his car veers onto the shoulder. Similarly my mind so easily veers, vectors off in ways that sadden me – and I awake to notice that I’m far from where I started, having fallen alseep spiritually somewhere along the way. It makes me frustrated and disheartened. I want temptation to be gone. I’m ready to go home.

Everyone has an agenda. In religion, people generally have their own agenda – a list of things they emphasize over others. This is most certainly a curse in one way, but is a blessing in another. For instance: My view and thus my speech and writing will always be slanted toward an artistic view of God and creation, always in awe of the beauty in all things, and how those things show us bits and pieces of God’s character.

This goes to show the importance of community. As a friend of mine pointed out, Christianity is inherently corporate. There’s no escaping community – if you read the Bible, you’re reading the inspired words of Paul, David and Moses. If you come to know Christ, it’s probably because someone has spoken to you about Him. And because everyone has their own agenda, but because of community, we have a chance to getting a more balanced view of God – where I see from the artistic perspective, I have friends who have a better grasp of God’s fatherly love, or God’s supremacy. Apart we emphasize certain things but together we get a more balanced view.

I listen to many sermons, read books, etc… and I hope, in the end, perspectives will balance out. Here’s what, or who, I really respect and love to read/listen to and their basic perspective as I see it:

Frederick Buechner – God speaking through our lives
Matt Chandler – Dealing with bible-belt sleepy Christianity
Mark Driscoll – Jesus (preaching Jesus and fighting sin in Seattle)
Timothy Keller – doing social justice (getting people to look beyond themselves in NY) & the meta narrative of the Bible
CS Lewis – fairly balanced but – the intellectual side of the faith
Rod MacIlvaine – (don’t have a great read yet but…) the intellectual side of the faith
Brennan Manning – God as Abba, or Father
John Piper – the supremacy of God
AW Tozer – fairly balanced
Ravi Zacharias – the intellectual side of the faith

My heart is such that I might stay awake all night devoting myself to study and prayer, but my mind inclines toward the tired head.

Oscar Wilde opens his letter “De Profundis” with the words “Suffering is one very long moment…” James 1:2-4 says “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” Healthcare is a $539 billion dollar industry in the US – the reduction of pain is a $539 billion dollar industry. One of the biggest surface level rejections/questions of Christianity is “If God is so good, why is there so much pain and suffering in the world?”

I think Christians should handle pain and suffering much different than someone who doesn’t believe in God – so I did some research and ended up teaching on it last night at small group. The document you can download is just an outline of what we discussed – the depth is missing but the ideas are there… and the basic scripture references are there. Please take a look if you’re interesting in why Christians should be able to suffer in a way that’s different from the world. Perhaps I’ll write a more formal document on it eventually – but until then, hopefully this one will suffice.

I must note, much of my material and ideas are pulled from various talks and sermons from people including: Tim Keller, John Piper, Frederick Buechner, Matt Chandler. I don’t claim to have interpreted their ideas correctly – in other words, don’t blame them if I missquote them, blame me.

Here’s the outline: http://www.philiplikens.com/myspace/suffering.doc