The Unworthy Saint

An Irish Blessing as posted by Fallon. I love this one and also the one about turning their ankles.

May the road rise to meet you,
may the wind always be at your back,
the sun shine warm upon your face,
the rain fall soft upon your fields,
and until we meet again may God hold you in the hollow of his hands

This redesign, with the palm trees and paradise, is dedicated to the disaster in Asia which, among other things, took out the little paradise island where The Beach was filmed. This is truly sad. If you feel inclined to help, this information might be relevant to you.

“Sometimes you’re flush and sometimes you’re bust, and when you’re up, it’s never as good as it seems, and when you’re down, you never think you’re gonna be up again. But life goes on. Remember that. Money isn’t real George. It doesn’t matter. It only seems like it does.”

-Fred Jung, Blow

“So in the end, was it worth it? Jesus christ, how irreperably changed my life has become. It’s always the last day of summer, and I’ve been left outside in the cold with no door to get back in. I’ll grant you, I’ve had more than my share of poignant moments. Life passes most people by without making grand plans for it. Throughout my lifetime, I’ve left pieces of my heart here and there. And now there’s almost not enough to stay alive. But I force a smile, knowing that my ambition far exceded my talent.”

-George Jung, Blow

“So then he said ‘It’s easier for you to drive your car through the little hole in the middle of a cd than a rich guy to get to heaven.’”

I would’ve laughed at that. Then I think I probably would’ve cried… but you have to admit it’s kinda funny to think about… that Jesus, what a funny funny guy.

Matthew 19

23Then Jesus said to his disciples, “I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

Prompted by who-knows-what I began proclaiming “in order to keep my sanity I must have a good bit of time alone.” Now I wonder if saying is making. I wonder if since I verbally repeat how being alone is oh-so important to my well being, I make it just that important – when it really isn’t. I do wonder if being alone is all that grand. It certainly gives me a chance to think, and since I live in my head that seem like a blessing, but I’m not sure that life is all about thinking. Perhaps it’s more about interacting with people – changing the course of people’s lives. The interaction. The excitement. Even the down times. *shudder* But what do I know? I’m phobic of new people and new places. It’s out of my comfort zone. And we all know – what’s not comfortable has to be bad. I’ve also heard it said that “if you’re not uncomfortable, you’re probably not growing.” But who want’s to grow? I think I’ll go hole up and be alone now. Thanks for playing, nice to know you, goodbye.

Extra note – Wasn’t it when the Grinch was in community that his heart grew 3 sizes? I think there’s something magical in fellowship. I don’t really love it sometimes but I do think it’s good for me. And I do think I grow.

I’ve recently had a slight change of heart. Just recently I’ve been wondering if I should be going over seas to help with the AIDS crisis in Africa or the child sex trade in Cambodia.

I’ve always said “God, don’t send me to Africa, please, please, please…” but lately I’ve been wondering if it wouldn’t be a positive experience. I would certainly learn quite a bit from it and hopefully help people.

Now, my question is, even though my heart is starting to pull toward Africa and other places, is that really where I could make the most impact? Or is it just that I’m coming around to the idea of really taking action and so doing things around here would fulfill that longing and possibly make more of a difference since I’m good at some of the things I could do here.

Most of the things I could do here are really about publicity and generating awareness. I’m design oriented – I do some marketing, I design web sites, I create art. Is that where I could best serve? I tend to think it is. Does that mean I shouldn’t go overseas at some point and see exactly what’s taking place? No. It’d probably be a good idea if that’s what I choose to support.

Anyhow, some interesting questions on my mind and heart. If anyone has any views on here or there… I’d love to hear them. Or if anyone has stories or knows of issues that need to be addressed please leave a note in the comments section of this post.

‘If she doesn’t have Aids already, she will get it’ is an article written on child sex trade. It’s hard for me to believe these things are going on. It’s harder still to imagine how I can help stop it. Is it an awareness issue? Would making websites or designing posters help relieve these girls… What does it take?

The thought of child sex trade makes me sick with sadness. This is a truly fallen world we inhabit.

Faith, in relation to God, is what the following verse, quote and song express. I especially like Billy Graham’s quote because it makes faith something comprehendable – something easy to understand. Pulled from this site.

Hebrews 11:1
“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.”

Billy Graham
“Have you ever seen the wind? I’ve never seen the wind, but I’ve seen the effects of the wind.”

DC Talk – Mind’s Eye
You know what I’m going through
I know that it’s true
Cause you’ve stood in my shoes
Desire’s inside of me
But, it’s hard to believe
In what you cannot see
Can you catch the wind?
See a breeze?
It’s presence is revealed by the leaves on a tree
An image of my faith in the unseen

In my mind’s eye
I see Your face
You smile
As You show me grace
In my mind’s eye
You take my hand
We walk through foreign lands
The foreign lands of life

In my mind
I’m where I belong
As I rest in Your arms
And like a child I hold on to you
In my moment of truth
We can ride the storm
Endure the pain
You comfort me in my hurricane
And I’ll never be alone again

Can you catch the wind?
Can you see the breeze?

In my mind I can see Your face
Love pours down in a shower of grace
Life is a gift that You choose to give
And I believe that we eternally live
Faith is the evidence of things unseen
People tell me that You’re just a dream
But they don’t know you the way that I do
You’re the one I live to pursue

I find myself very upset when an idea or opinion of mine is judged as good or bad based on my ability to defend it at a given moment. I don’t feel that my debate skills, memory of past experience or research, or quick thinking ability do justice to my ideas or opinions. Some ideas or opinions are difficult to explain without some thinking because they’ve been built on years of experience and knowledge. I feel like my hands are tied and there’s nothing I can do so I have to just sit and watch someone rape my children.