The Unworthy Saint

This has nothing to do with spirituality…but here is a list of some of my favorite movies:

a beautiful mind
a clockwork orange
almost famous
american beauty
american history x
as good as it gets
the beach
better off dead
big fish
blow
boondock saints
broken wings
the dangerous lives of alter boys
donnie darko
fight club
finding forrester
full metal jacket
gandhi
gangs of new york
garden state
gerry
girl interupted
good will hunting
high fidelity
igby goes down
k-pax
kill bill 1 & 2
leon: the professional
life as a house
lock stock and 2 smoking barrels
the mission
monster’s inc
monty python (anything)
moulin rouge
no mans land
oh brother where art thou
one flew over the coo-coos nest
playing by heart
pollock
punch drunk love
requiem for a dream
resevoir dogs
ronin
romeo and juliet
rounders
run, lola, run
se7en
seven years in tibet
shrek
sleepy hollow
snatch
snow white and the seven dwarfs
spring, summer, fall, winter… and spring
spun
traffic
trainspotting
true romance
12 monkeys
the way of the gun
white lies

if wealth is measured by posessions – jesus, paul, gandhi were all poor men… but i consider these people very wealthy. the world has such a distorted view of wealth and i sometimes get caught up in that thinking.

Bosh: Nonsense.

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” – Gandhi

We are the wounded generation. Our fathers weren’t quite sure how to love us, how to comfort us, how to show us they care… and that’s no fault of theirs, their fathers were the ones fighting world war 2, with hardened hearts and memories of battlefield horrors.

And even though our fathers were distanced, we are coming around. We are beginning to feel what our fathers couldn’t. We are beginning to see the beauty, beginning to have a heart for the world. And most importantly we’re learning how to love the people around us and communicate that love.

Gandhi said it best when he said “Be the change you want to see.”

I am living a dream. What a wonderful place to be.

I need to know all of my faults. Here’s the trick though… if someone were to tell me “These are your faults. a, b, c, d.” would that be the truth? Probably not. Would that be their reality (perception/projection) of me? Yes. So how do I discern whther someone’s feedback is valid or just a product of their own broken state? I’m not sure. But, somehow, I do need to know how messed up I am, in what areas, and perhaps ways of improving those areas in that particular interpersonal, relational context. And so it is with greathumility I present that following request: Tell me how you perceive me to be broken and what I can do improve those areas in the context of our relations. You may email me or post a comment.

It’s my brokenness that prohibits easy and clear dialog. It’s my brokenness. It’s my crap. That’s not to say communication ineptitude can’t be bettered by the two parties involved through talking about it, or that I’m the only one to blame (not that anyone is to blame…), it just means I’d better be working on myself before I approach (with caution) the situation.

Right now, it’s stylish to look like Pocahontas. I saw a girl today in moccasins and some colored dress getting into a Jaguar with her mom.

Honestly, I yern for simplicity, but I gravitate toward complexity.

Perhaps the key is focusing on the day to day? Or planning? Focusing on the positive? Being proactive? Smiling? Removing tolerances?